I have some really great news that I wanted to share with all of you. Since Amelia has been born, it’s become very clear to me that I need to reinvest in my businesses so I can leave my day job. I’ve started working from home full-time so I can see her more often but it’s still not enough. I miss that little girl between every break. I need to be able to spend more time with her.
I’ve decided to change organizations and am currently getting certified with ProDoula for both labor and postpartum support. In the process of doing that, Baby G’s mom (K) said she’d love to become a doula as well. We discussed it and she’s become an independent contractor for me. We talked and one thing led to another, and before I knew it, I’m owning a doula agency. Today I took on another doula. My little agency is growing. I’m so proud. I’m getting a logo created and my website should be live by the end of the month. I’m so happy.
In other news, we’ll be trying for baby #2 by the end of summer. I’m really ready to be pregnant again and to have another blessing join our family. Full disclosure? I’m also petrified! I’m so scared that it won’t happen again. I don’t know that I can go another 8 years TTC.
Obviously this time around will be a little less desperate as we’ve already been given a gorgeous little girl (who is currently laying on daddy’s chest giving him kisses). Hubby is so excited for us to get pregnant again. I don’t want to let him down. I have a pack and a half of birth control left. Then it’s TTC again.
I’m trying not to pysch myself out before we even start trying but I’m failing. It’s getting better. I started arguments with Hubby a few times to avoid baby dancing. He caught on and asked me what was wrong. I made up some stupid lie. He asked if we were going to start TTC on Amy’s birthday like was always the plan. I fibbed and said I wanted to finish the last few packs because I think it’ll help to keep my hormones balanced. I wanted to buy more time before the crushing defeat of my first BFN.
I talked to K about how I was feeling. She helped me to find the words so I could have a heart to heart with Hubby. He helped me to feel better. It feels great to know that he’s as invested in this as I am. He’s scared too but wants to help me with whatever I need. I love this man!
We’ll get through this together. We’ve started to do yoga at night again. Amy tries to crawl up our legs in downward dog. Then she’s tries to emulate us in corpse pose and happy baby. Regardless of how this pans out, we are fully aware of how lucky we are to have this beautiful, smart, incredibly strong baby girl who loves to laugh and cuddle.