Holding Strong!

I did it! I resisted the urge to test today too! I think part of this is resolve and the other part is secretly being afraid of the BFN. At this moment, I’m convinced that I’m pregnant. I remember how rough it was in March when I thought I was pregnant and got the BFN. I don’t know if I can do that again without Hubby. Tomorrow is 10 dpo so I think I will test then. Although part of me wants to try to wait until Sunday as that will be when I should expect my period. However, Saturday night is a Halloween party that will include lots of yummy wine. If I am not pregnant I might want to cope in an unhealthy way. If I am pregnant, or don’t test, I will have no problems not drinking. I had no issues not drinking this past weekend at the wedding. I will probably just not drink to be safe.

I went to pick up my refill of Metformin and the price tripled! It’s still not that expensive but it scares me. I was paying $3.21 after insurance. Then when I got bumped up to 4 pills a day instead of 3, it was $3.65. This time when I went to pick it up it was $9.95! Afterwards I kicked myself for not just waiting. I still have almost a full bottle and if I get the BFP, my doctor is going to tell me to stop taking it. Oh well. At least it was $10 not $100.

Hubby is away at his leadership conference. He sent me a picture last night of another medal. DECA certainly agrees with him. He has so many medals already from his first year, I can’t imagine how many he’ll get this year. To illustrate this point, when he sent me the photo, instead of responding with, “Congrats! That’s awesome! I’m proud of you!” My response was “Seriously, another fucking medal?”

As for symptom watch, the nausea has gotten a little better. The cramping is about the same. Breast tenderness has increased. I can’t get enough tuna or shrimp, and now I’ve added chocolate, pickles, and cream cheese to this list. These are the only foods I want to eat at all. The chocolate I still haven’t had since the October challenge is no candy, soda, or fast food. This one I’m really thinking is imagined but my breasts seem to be quite full right now. My bras were starting to get too big because of the weight loss and I’m overflowing this one today. And I’m constantly hungry. I don’t have a huge appetite but I need to eat something small, very small every 90 minutes or so to stave off the nausea. I have not had implantation bleeding. I have had some vivid dreams…one of which had me wake up completely pissed off! I’ve always been able to shake off an upsetting dream, like if someone betrays me in a dream…but this one I couldn’t shake. I stayed angry with my older sister for a day and a half afterwards. And I am still fatigued. However, I did sleep through the night last night for the first time in a long time.

Be well friends!

This entry was posted in family, health, Infertility, marriage, motherhood, PCOS, Positive Outlook, pregnancy, weight and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Holding Strong!

  1. My fingers are crossed for your testing. 🙂 Woop!

  2. Melanie says:

    Praying for a good outcome this month!

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