MIA

Happy Wednesday!

So today is my first day of work this week, hence the missing few days of blogging. I got an unexpected…and unpleasant, long weekend. Friday night when I got home I noticed some bumps on my left jaw line. I thought it was odd but didn’t think much of it. Waking up Saturday morning, I found the bumps had spread to the rest of my face and the back of my left hand. A little concerning. We went to the store and got some Benadryl. I also used some Calahist topically to help with the itching. Then I choked on my Benadryl Saturday night before bed. I woke up Sunday morning feeling a tightness in my throat that finally got my attention. I wanted to go to urgent care but the roads were awful. I called in sick Monday morning and we headed to urgent care.

Allergic reaction and possibly some sort of infection. High pulse and extremely low blood pressure. They said my throat was quite constricted so they did a throat culture which came back clean. They sent me for blood work, which showed mostly normal but with elevated white blood cell count. I went home with some steroids and a super antibiotic.

They didn’t seem concerned with what I reacted to so I didn’t either. In talking to my supervisor at work, she was not impressed. She urged me to get the allergy test since while this was a slow reaction, it was quite severe. I’ll be calling my doctor later today.

Aside from that drama, I had a pretty good weekend. I felt like I stayed on my diet fairly well. I was 5 lbs heavier when they weighed me at the hospital but that could have something to do with being sick. I’ll need to weigh myself again when I’m off the meds and feeling better.

So one of my very good friends is pregnant. We have another friend who has been trying for 6 months to get pregnant and is quite upset that she isn’t yet. While my initial reaction was to yell at her to chill out since she’s still young and healthy, I held it in. I was supportive and sent her a little bit of the enormous amount of information about conceiving I’ve collected in the last 7 years. We had a nice chat last night. I feel much better helping her than I would if I had vented my own frustrations on her. It also helped me feel less stressed about all of this.

One of the hardest things when you’re struggling to conceive is hearing that someone around you is pregnant. I get jealous and angry and depressed all at the same time. But I also get really excited for the mom-to-be. I think letting myself feel all those horrible, selfish emotions first is healthy, as long as I don’t dwell on them. Plus, I really do need to let those run their course so I can be truly happy for my friends. It isn’t her fault she can get pregnant and I can’t. And my friends/family deserve the support I can give them.

I know most women dealing with fertility issues that I’ve talked to feel the same way. So if you get pregnant, don’t hesitate to tell someone close to you because they are dealing with infertility. They’ll probably feel even more upset if they’re the last to know.

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